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Get to the
emotional impact. In my opinion, what the world
needs now is “love, sweet love,” and communication that
gets to the emotional impact of a product or service in
fewer words, with more punch. The writing has to mean
something—it must touch hearts without being cheesy. A
tall order? Yes, but consider these examples:
- Show how you helped your customer appear to be a
hero to his customer.
“Thanks to (COMPANY
NAME)’s quick action with (PRODUCT), its customers
experienced fewer dropped calls. As a result, they were
able to deliver improved help desk service. The call
center agents noticed the difference right away. ‘Even
though he was driving through tunnels and on city
streets, the call didn’t drop,’ one of them said. ‘I was
able to hang in there with him until I could resolve his
problem. And by the time we hung up, he was thrilled and
so was I.’”
- Demonstrate the impact through testimonials; ask
sources how the product or service has impacted their
lives. You can wind up with quotes like these:
“It wasn’t just the cost per delivery that
dropped, it was my stress level, because I knew I was
doing a better job.”
“The real measure of
this new approach to portfolio management is how much
better I’ve been sleeping. And when it comes to people
gathering around the coffee machine complaining about
the stock market…well, I’ve sworn off coffee.”
Avoid “but.” Use “and.” “But”
delivers a negative coloration and it implies that you
know your reader’s attitude about the initial
clause—your assumption may be wrong.
The U.S.
dollar is up 40 percent since 1995, but that’s made
American exports less competitive and could restrain
economic expansion. (N.Y. Times)
Now read the
same sentence with “and” instead of “but”—much
better!
Obviously, “but” has its place, but choose
“and” wherever possible—it is open, inclusive and
positive.
Be precise. For example, I see
the word “tackle” being used imprecisely.
“The research, which appears today in the
journal Nature, could lead to new ways of
tackling the disease. (WSJ, pg. 1, May 16,
2002)
People solve problems, answer questions and
address issues. They can “tackle” a problem or disease,
but—staying with the football metaphor—that only brings
the problem to the ground, it only stops its advance. It
doesn’t cure it. Using the word “tackle” in relation to
problems or diseases introduces fuzziness. A metaphor
will only stretch so far—then it breaks!
Web
writing drives other forms of writing. The Web
favors a more informal writing style such as I am using
here—staccato bursts, phrases that flow. The kind of
writing used by with-it advertising copywriters. Stuffy,
official-sounding prose doesn’t communicate that well on
the Web. Moreover, I find the Web writing style turning
up in other corporate communications. Think of it as
“casual Friday” language spreading to all the days of
the week. For those who wish for greater formality of
language on the Web, the trick is to make formulaic
expressions work in a largely informal medium. It can be
accomplished, to a point.
Communication
compression. Newspapers and magazines are getting
physically smaller. Article word-counts are shrinking.
Words that once stood alone are being scrunched together
with other words. I call it communication compression.
Things are getting shorter, but what’s needed is more
meaning per word! More emotional impact. So pack a
wallop! Paint pictures with words! Let people know how
your product or service makes customers and customers’
customers feel!
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